In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works, how you can decide which relationships can be saved and which you have to walk away from–and how to gasproof your life so you'll never again choose a gaslighting relationship
Praise for Dr. Robin Stern
"…Offers a socially intelligent method to spot and counter emotional abuse. … lights a way out of a dark side of relationships."
–DANIEL GOLDMAN, author of Social Intelligence
"…like a sturdy, truth-telling friend in difficult times. Stern will show you you’re not alone in your toxic relationship..."
–Rachel Simmons,author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls
"…a powerful guide and manual that fully articulates and explains the repercussions of underhanded manipulation in personal and professional relationships.”
–Sylvia Ann Hewlett, economist, author, and president of the Center for Work-Life Policy
“Dr. Robin Stern is one of the world’s wisest women. There’s much to learn from her.”
“…eloquently shine[s] a light on an often missed … emotional abuse… I have no doubt this book will positively change lives.”
–Linda Lantieri, Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL)
“…therapist Robin Stern takes her readers on a journey that will help them take control of their lives and destinies.”
–Phyllis Chesler, Ph.D., author of Women and Madness and Woman’s Inhumanity to Woman
“Her strategies for “turning off the gas,” … are practical and sound, emphasizing improving self-esteem and visualizing out-comes. … strongly recommended.”
–Library Journal 4/1/07
Your husband crosses the line in his flirtations with another woman at a dinner party. When you confront him, he asks you to stop being insecure and controlling. After a long argument, you apologize for giving him a hard time.
Your mother belittles your clothes, your job, and your boyfriend. But instead of fighting back, you wonder if your mother is right and figure that a mature person should be able to take a little criticism.
If you think things like this can’t happen to you, think again. Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from.
Check for these telltale signs:
Does your opinion of yourself change according to approval or disapproval from your spouse?
When your boss praises you, do you feel as if you could conquer the world?
Do you feel hopeless and joyless?
Do you have trouble making simple decisions and constantly second guess yourself?
Do you frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to your family and friends?
Do you dread having small things go wrong at home—buying the wrong brand of toothpaste, not having dinner ready on time, a mistaken appointment written on the calendar?